The 2002 Japanese Grand Prix was ITV’s 100th Formula 1 show, and to commemorate this the team picked their favourite moments. These were Martin’s grid-walk favourites:

“In the blue corner you’ve got Goldilocks; in the red corner you’ve got Golden Gonads himself.”

Martin: “Now that I’ve gone, who’s your favourite driver in Formula 1?”
Bernie: “Well I was hoping you were gonna make a comeback.”

Liz Hurley: “We’re going up to the first corner for the take-off, whatever they call it here.”
Martin (dryly): “It’s called the Start.”

“We’ve got 120,000 people … (Jean Todt walks across the front of the camera) … Don’t worry, Jean, we’ll cut that bit out of the programme.”

(To Silvester Stallone as he walks round the back of Martin so that the right-hand side of his face is to the camera): “You did tell me it was gonna be your right-hand side – what’s so special about it? That one didn’t get hit quite as many times?”

(Martin to Bernie as Bernie shakes hands with Frank Bruno): “He’s my minder today because … (Ron Dennis pushes Martin’s headphones over his head from behind) … Thank you very much – thank you, Ron!”

“My tip of the moment is the piano sitting at the front of the grid! I’ve never seen that before!”

(Martin jogs along the grid to find Bryan Adams) “Bryan! Glad I caught up with you – had to Run to You!”

(To Carol Vorderman): “I reckon even you couldn’t get twenty-two into one into that first corner!”

“Montoya doesn’t wanna talk to me … (he gets goosed from behind) … Thank you very much, Carl Heinz!”

Martin: “Congratulations on your first Formula 1 pole. How’s it feeling?”
Montoya (answers in Spanish, then:) “What d’you think of that?!”
Martin: “Si, es est muy bien!”

“He’s a big guy, he is unbelievable. I’m dying to get a shot of you and him standing side by side … (Bernie stands next to Shaquille O’Neal – the top of his head comes halfway up Shaquille’s chest) … That’s gotta be the shot!”

Martin: “Naomi! Is it possible to have a word? Puff Daddy, how are you?”
P. Diddy (holding a cigar): “As soon as the race starts I’m gonna light it up.”
Martin: “So you’re just gonna chew on it. Are you nervous or something?”
P. Diddy: “No, I’m never nervous. Are you nervous?”

Martin: “How am I gonna get in there?! I wanna have a word with His Majesty … (He pushes his way through the bodyguards) … Sir, how are you? Have you got a quick word for us on British television?”
King Juan Carlos: “Yes, but this time I have no desire that you take me round the track.”

“And there’s a man here I’ve never ever seen on the grid. In 18 years I’ve never ever seen this old codger on the grid! (He gives Murray Walker a hug) Well, we miss you. And back to you in the studio.”